The 1901 Census website was meant to showcase British digitisation, but instead it became a punchline: servers that buckled on launch, mismatched kit lashed together, prisoner-typed data laced with obscenities, and retired “10 till 3 grannies” and neurodiverse consultants cleaning up the mess. I was called in to write the report that unravelled the fiasco, a job that took me from QinetiQ’s “Santa in tweed” CTO to the Cabinet Office, where I first crossed paths with Alan Mather, and learned hard lessons about hubris, engineering, and failure, along the way.