I own every appearance of Flaming Carrot, not as memorabilia but as a working instrument. This is a short essay about absurdity used with discipline: carrots against false seriousness, mockery as a tool, and what happens when you refuse to let power keep its costume. Flaming Carrot isn’t just a forgotten indie gem; he’s symbolic weaponry. Pataphysics writ large.
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This article sets out the definitive regulatory playbook for enterprise Point-in-Time (PIT) reconstruction in UK Financial Services. It explains why PIT is now a supervisory expectation: driven by PRA/FCA reviews, Consumer Duty, s166 investigations, AML/KYC forensics, and model risk, and makes a clear distinction between “state as known” and “state as now known”. Covering SCD2 foundations, entity resolution, precedence versioning, multi-domain alignment, temporal repair, and reproducible rebuild patterns, it shows how to construct a deterministic, explainable PIT engine that can withstand audit, replay history reliably, and defend regulatory outcomes with confidence.
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This article explains why I am stepping back from writing about neurodiversity as a primary lens for my work. Not because the subject no longer matters, but because over time it has begun to obscure achievement rather than illuminate it. This is a reflection on explanation, authority, and the point at which context stops being helpful and starts getting in the way.
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This article defines what regulator-defensible enterprise Retrieval-augmented generation (RAG) looks like in Financial Services (at least in 2025–2026). Rather than focusing on model quality, it frames RAG through the questions regulators actually ask: what information was used, can the answer be reproduced, who is accountable, and how risk is controlled. It sets out minimum standards for context provenance, audit-grade logging, temporal and precedence-aware retrieval, human-in-the-loop escalation, and replayability. The result is a clear distinction between RAG prototypes and enterprise systems that can survive PRA/FCA and SMCR scrutiny.
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This article explores the hidden psychological, physical, and social costs of autistic masking, drawing on current research and lived experience. Combining academic insight with personal anecdotes, it examines how masking impacts wellbeing, identity, and burnout, and argues that masking is not an individual adaptation but a response to structural neurotypical norms and inequality embedded in modern social and professional life.
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This article explains why standard Retrieval-Augmented Generation (RAG) silently corrupts history in Financial Services by answering past questions with present-day truth. It introduces Temporal RAG: a regulator-defensible retrieval pattern that conditions every query on an explicit as_of timestamp and retrieves only from Point-in-Time (PIT) slices governed by SCD2 validity, precedence rules, and repair policies. Using concrete implementation patterns and audit reconstruction examples, it shows how to make LLM retrieval reproducible, evidential, and safe for complaints, remediation, AML, and conduct-risk use cases.
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Azure Data Factory can route traffic through a corporate firewall with a fixed outbound IP… but only after you abandon the idea of “simple”. This article explores why a basic enterprise requirement turns into architectural theatre, and what that says about modern cloud platforms.
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This article explains where AI agents genuinely add value in regulated Financial Services data platforms — and where they become indefensible. It distinguishes “useful” agents from regulator-defensible ones, showing how agents can safely detect temporal defects, propose repairs, enrich metadata, and draft regulatory artefacts without bypassing governance. Using practical patterns and real failure modes, it defines a strict operating model — detect, propose, approve, apply — that preserves auditability, replayability, and SMCR accountability while delivering operational leverage that survives PRA/FCA scrutiny.
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How AI fits into Bronze/Silver/Gold without breaking lineage, PIT, or SMCR: This article sets out a regulator-defensible approach to integrating AI and LLMs into UK Financial Services data platforms (structurally accurate for 2025/2026). It argues that AI must operate as a governed consumer and orchestrator of a temporal medallion architecture, not a parallel system. By defining four permitted integration patterns, PIT-aware RAG, controlled Bronze embeddings, anonymised fine-tuning, and agentic orchestration, it shows how to preserve lineage, point-in-time truth, and SMCR accountability while enabling practical AI use under PRA/FCA scrutiny.
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Ontological Desynchronisation offers a compelling synthesis of demographic, behavioural, and algorithmic dynamics to explain contemporary societal fragility. Building on reproductive desynchronisation and behavioural sink theory, it introduces ontological capture as a missing mechanism linking algorithmic governance to population collapse and civic erosion. The article is strongest in showing how temporal compression undermines judgement, coordination, and intergenerational continuity. While some remedies remain aspirational, the framework is original, integrative, and strategically valuable, reframing collapse not as decline in numbers alone but as a failure of shared time, attention, and becoming.
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This article defines a comprehensive architectural doctrine for modern Financial Services data platforms, separating precursor decisions (what must be true for trust and scale) from foundational decisions (how the platform behaves under regulation, time, and organisational pressure). It explains why ingestion maximalism, streaming-first eventual consistency, transactional processing at the edge, domain-first design, and freshness as a business contract are non-negotiable in FS. Through detailed narrative and explicit anti-patterns, it shows how these decisions preserve optionality, enable regulatory defensibility, support diverse communities, and prevent the systemic failure modes that quietly undermine large-scale financial data platforms.
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This article explains why time, consistency, and freshness are first-class architectural concerns in modern Financial Services data platforms. It shows how truth in FS is inherently time-qualified, why event time must be distinguished from processing time, and why eventual consistency is a requirement rather than a compromise. By mapping these concepts directly to Bronze, Silver, Gold, and Platinum layers, the article demonstrates how platforms preserve historical truth, deliver reliable current-state views, and enforce freshness as an explicit business contract rather than an accidental outcome.
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Measuring Value in a Modern FS Data Platform reframes how Financial Services organisations should evaluate data platforms. Rather than measuring pipelines, volumes, or dashboards, true value emerges from consumption, velocity, optionality, semantic alignment, and control. By landing raw data, accelerating delivery through reuse, organising around business domains, and unifying meaning in a layered Bronze–Silver–Gold–Platinum architecture, modern platforms enable faster decisions, richer analytics, regulatory confidence, and long-term adaptability. This article provides a practical, consumption-driven framework for CDOs and CIOs to quantify and communicate real data value.
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This article argues that modern Financial Services (FS) data platforms must deliberately support two distinct but complementary promotion lifecycles. The well known and understood North/South lifecycle provides operational stability, governance, and regulatory safety for customer-facing and auditor-visible systems. In parallel, the East/West lifecycle enables analytical exploration, experimentation, and rapid innovation for data science and analytics teams. By mapping these lifecycles onto layered data architectures (Bronze to Platinum) and introducing clear promotion gates, FS organisations can protect operational integrity while sustaining analytical freedom and innovation.
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This article examines who consumes a modern Financial Services data platform and why their differing needs must shape its architecture. It identifies four core consumer groups, operational systems, analytics communities, finance and reconciliation functions, and governance and regulators, alongside additional emerging consumers. By analysing how each group interacts with data, the article explains why layered architectures, dual promotion flows, and semantic alignment are essential. Ultimately, it argues that platform value is defined by consumption, not ingestion or technology choices.
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Building a cross-domain temporal backbone that actually works in Financial Services. Financial Services firms often build robust SCD2 history within individual domains, yet still fail when asked to reconstruct cross-domain state at a point in time. This article explains why single-domain SCD2 is insufficient and sets out a practical design for a multi-domain temporal backbone spanning Customer, Account, Party, Product, Contract, and Transactions. It shows how to align entity history, temporal relationships, and bi-temporal transactional facts to support defensible point-in-time analysis across risk, conduct, AML, remediation, and regulatory use cases.
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Do you like Shakespeare? Me too. But I don’t need to go “all in” and lose sight you can just “enjoy” the stuff. This essay mounts a post-structuralist assault on Shakespearean canon-worship, arguing that four centuries of criticism function less as interpretation than as institutional maintenance. It interrogates why Shakespeare must always matter, why scholars struggle to like the plays without theory, and why universality is retroactively imposed. By stripping away reverence, the essay asks an obscene but clarifying question: “What if they are just entertainment for Elizabethan wankers?” and insists on Shakespeare’s mortality as a condition of honest criticism.
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Modern Financial Services data platforms require more than Bronze, Silver, and Gold layers to manage complexity, meaning, and governance. While Silver provides current-state truth and Gold delivers consumption-driven business meaning, neither resolves enterprise-wide semantics. This article introduces the Platinum layer as the conceptual truth layer, reconciling how different domains, systems, and analytical communities understand the same data. Together, Gold and Platinum bridge operational use, analytical insight, and long-lived domain semantics, enabling clarity, velocity, and governed understanding at scale.
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Slowly Changing Dimension Type 2 (SCD2) patterns are widely used in Snowflake-based Financial Services platforms to preserve full historical change for regulatory, analytical, and audit purposes. However, Snowflake’s architecture differs fundamentally from file-oriented lakehouse systems, requiring distinct design and operational choices. This article provides practical, production-focused guidance for operating large-scale SCD2 Bronze layers on Snowflake. It explains how to use Streams, Tasks, micro-partition behaviour, batching strategies, and cost-aware configuration to ensure predictable performance, controlled spend, and long-term readiness for analytics and AI workloads in regulated environments.
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Slowly Changing Dimension Type 2 (SCD2) patterns are increasingly used in the Bronze layer of Databricks-based platforms to meet regulatory, analytical, and historical data requirements in Financial Services. However, SCD2 Bronze tables grow rapidly and can become costly, slow, and operationally fragile if not engineered carefully. This article provides practical, production-tested guidance for managing large-scale SCD2 Bronze layers on Databricks using Delta Lake. It focuses on performance, cost control, metadata health, and long-term readiness for analytics and AI workloads in regulated environments.
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