Non-fungible tokens, or NFTs, have quickly gone from niche tech curiosity to mainstream obsession. Promised as a revolution in digital ownership, creativity, and investment, NFTs are hailed as everything from the future of art to a transformative tool for creators. But scratch beneath the surface, and the NFT world is riddled with misinformation, speculation, and, quite frankly, bollocks.

Let’s sift through some of the biggest misconceptions and hyperbole surrounding NFTs, and separate the genuine potential from the nonsense. Here’s a quick quote from Brian Eno that seems to summarise the topic quite well:

NFTs seem to me just a way for artists to get a little piece of the action from global capitalism, our own cute little version of financialisation. How sweet – now artists can become little capitalist assholes as well.

Brian Eno

Welcome to part three of my satirical comedic polemic series, as I raise a glass to my long-time hero, Juvenal!

NFTs: The Future of Art? Not Quite

One of the loudest bits of NFT bollocks is the notion that NFTs are the future of art, destined to replace traditional galleries and transform the art world forever. Digital art, it’s claimed, can now be easily bought, sold, and owned in previously impossible ways. But while NFTs do offer a novel form of digital ownership, they aren’t the seismic shift they’re made out to be.

For starters, buying an NFT doesn’t give you copyright ownership of the artwork—it only gives you the right to claim that you “own” the token associated with it. You don’t control the actual image or have the right to prevent others from copying, sharing, or remixing it. It’s akin to owning a digital certificate of authenticity, but that’s hardly revolutionary.

The idea that NFTs have completely reshaped the art world is more hype than substance. Traditional art forms and physical galleries aren’t going anywhere, and many artists remain sceptical of NFTs as a reliable or sustainable way to share and sell their work.

The “You’re Missing Out!” Investment Pitch

Many people see NFTs as an investment opportunity—a way to buy and sell digital assets for huge profits later. This has led to speculative mania, with people spending ridiculous sums on digital “collectables” hoping to cash in down the line. But the harsh truth is that most NFTs are speculative, and the vast majority of them will likely never appreciate.

NFTs are essentially the digital equivalent of trading cards: they’re only worth what someone else is willing to pay. And while some high-profile NFTs have sold for millions, these are exceptions, not the norm. Many people who bought NFTs hoping for a quick profit have already been burned as prices plummet and interest wanes.

The notion that NFTs are guaranteed investments is pure bollocks. Like any speculative asset, they come with significant risk, and those hoping to strike it rich are more likely to lose money than become overnight millionaires.

NFTs Will Save Musicians, Authors, and Creators—Or Not

NFTs are often marketed as tools for creators, giving them control over their work and providing new revenue streams in the face of unfair platform economics. Musicians, writers, and other digital creators are being told that NFTs offer a direct way to sell their work, cut out middlemen, and reclaim power. But while NFTs do offer new ways to distribute content, they’re far from a silver bullet.

Creating and selling NFTs requires access to platforms, which typically take a cut of sales, effectively acting as new middlemen. There are also gas fees—transaction fees on the blockchain network—that can be prohibitively high, especially for smaller creators. And because NFTs are still in their infancy, there’s no reliable infrastructure for long-term royalties or support, meaning that creators can’t always count on sustained revenue.

Yes, NFTs offer potential, but the idea that they’re a guaranteed boon for creators is overstated. The barriers to entry, costs, and volatile market mean that NFTs are not the creator revolution they’re often made out to be.

NFT Environmental Impact: The Elephant in the Room

Much of the hype around NFTs conveniently ignores their environmental impact. Because NFTs are typically minted on blockchain networks like Ethereum, which rely on energy-intensive proof-of-work mechanisms, the environmental toll of NFTs is significant. One NFT transaction can consume as much energy as a single household’s electricity usage for days, if not weeks.

While proponents argue that the industry is moving towards greener technologies (such as proof-of-stake), most NFTs are still created on networks that are anything but environmentally friendly. For a market that claims to be paving the future, ignoring the climate impact is deeply irresponsible. Any narrative that paints NFTs as a wholly positive development for digital ownership or the art world is ignoring the environmental damage they’re contributing to.

The idea that NFTs are sustainable without massive reform is more bollocks. Until the industry shifts to eco-friendly technologies, NFTs will continue to have a serious environmental cost.

You Don’t Really Own What You Think You Own

NFTs are often described as a way to “own” digital assets, but what does that ownership actually mean? When you buy an NFT, you’re not getting the artwork itself or any exclusive rights to it—you’re getting a token that points to a file hosted on a server somewhere. If that server goes offline or the platform hosting your NFT shuts down, your “ownership” might suddenly mean nothing.

In reality, owning an NFT doesn’t mean you control the actual digital asset, but rather that you own a unique reference to it. If the file is moved, altered, or deleted, you’re left with a token that points to a blank space. This limitation raises questions about the long-term viability of NFTs as a form of ownership and casts doubt on the notion that they’re a revolutionary way to own digital assets.

The narrative that NFTs represent true ownership is, once again, bollocks. It’s more accurate to say that you own a kind of digital signature than any actual asset.

NFTs Are Here to Democratise Access to the Art World—But for Whom?

NFTs are often framed as a way to democratise access to art, giving creators from all backgrounds a chance to showcase and sell their work. But the reality is that the NFT space is dominated by a small number of high-profile artists and collectors with the resources to make a splash. For many smaller artists, the NFT marketplace is just as challenging, competitive, and elitist as the traditional art world.

Moreover, the financial barriers to creating and selling NFTs—like platform fees and gas fees—can put NFTs out of reach for many emerging artists. Far from levelling the playing field, the NFT world has become a playground for a few big names and well-funded collectors, while the majority of artists struggle to gain visibility or make significant sales.

The notion that NFTs have democratised the art world is bollocks. The NFT market may be new, but its structure is strikingly similar to the traditional, often elitist world of art and collectibles.

NFTs as the Foundation for the Metaverse: Another Buzzword?

Finally, no discussion of NFT bollocks would be complete without mentioning the “metaverse.” The vision here is that NFTs will become the foundation of virtual worlds, allowing people to buy, sell, and own digital assets in an interconnected metaverse. But as of now, this is mostly marketing fluff with very little practical substance.

The technology to create a seamless, universally accessible metaverse where NFTs hold value across multiple platforms is still a long way off. Current virtual worlds that incorporate NFTs are siloed and lack the interoperability needed to make a truly interconnected digital space. And while the idea of owning virtual real estate or assets sounds intriguing, it’s hard to imagine how this will translate to everyday value or utility for most users.

The dream of NFTs as the cornerstone of the metaverse is, for the time being, bollocks. It’s an exciting story, but one that’s largely ungrounded in reality.

Conclusion: Don’t Buy the NFT Bollocks

NFTs are an intriguing technology with some genuine use cases, but the hype machine has taken things to absurd levels. From the promise of transforming art to the fantasy of a decentralised metaverse, much of what we hear about NFTs is more marketing than reality.

At their best, NFTs offer a new way to explore digital ownership, but they come with serious caveats, environmental costs, and speculative risks. Rather than seeing them as the future of everything, we’d do well to take a more critical, realistic view.

Because at the end of the day, much of what’s being said about NFTs is, in a word, bollocks.