The maestro of stand up, Bill Hicks. I miss him and his caustic wit. I’m not sure how his comedy would be taken nowadays but I’m guessing if people find Jerry Sadowitz untenable it’s a hop skip and a jump to finding Bill Hicks offensive. Shame, he was lightning.

The eulogy I gave for my Nan, Grace Horkan, R.I.P.

Good afternoon, 

Writing this eulogy was hard. Much harder than I imagined. Every time I tried to write it I’d be over come with grief and start crying. I was a mess. 

Nan was always tidy, well presented. She liked a floral print dress, and they liked her. I loved and admired Nan. She was incredibly strong. She was determined and she “knew her own mind”. She did everything possible for her children, and me, and my children. She was tireless in providing for the family. 

I haven’t just lost my Nan, I lost my friend. You might not know this but I spent a lot of time with my Nan.

When I was a little boy, Mom and Dad would be at work, and I’d finish school and spend the afternoon with her until Mom or Dad turned up. Sometimes the old fella was there but often he’d be at work too, as would Maureen, and Shirley at school then college. 

Nan loved the cheesy Australian soaps that had stared in the 80s. Neighbours, Home and Away, but her favourite was Sons and Daughters. I’m sure we watched the first and last episodes of that together. 

It wasn’t just Australian day time TV. She loved watching the royal wedding when Diana married Charles; that was pretty damn boring for a lad.

We also spent a lot of time together on holidays, at first at the caravan, but later other holidays.

Nan could be playful. When I was in my teens the family visited the Lake District, where my Mom’s Mom lived. We went to Blackpool and visited one of those sit down fish and chip shops. It wasn’t all that at all. At the end of the meal and after we paid, Nan smiled a mischievous smile at me and lifted up a hanky over her handbag. She’d taken the salt and pepper. I think what was funny was she was enjoying how I shocked I looked.

We also had a series of holidays with Nan, Grandad, Maureen, and Shirley, as my boys were growing up. Andy, Joe, and Billy. We went to Wales, Cornwall a couple of times, and Devon. 

When we went to Wales Andy and Joey and their Aunt Vicky hid a five foot inflatable dinosaur in Nan’s bed and covered it over. Nan played along with the children and pretended to be surprised. They were all laughing and giggling. It was brilliant.

Nan loved us all. But she was mad for my children. She has loved every one of them and she would light up when holding or cuddling them. About six months ago we visited Castle Bromwich Hall Gardens and Nan waited patiently for Leo to calm down. He spent the day running around and gamboling. The usual two year old fun. As we were leaving Leo held Nan’s hand and walked her across the forecourt and to the car. I don’t think I’d seen Nan look happier. She’d waited all day for that and was so pleased. And we all were too.

I realised later in life that Nan was just as much a little girl at heart as most people are and I took to buying her cuddly toys as presents. Something I would not of imagined Nan to like, but she loved them and kept them near to her when she slept. 

Nan taught me a lot. She taught me to knit, to bake, to sew, use a sewing machine, make curtains. The knitting is pretty mediocre, and the baking isn’t anything to write home about, but the sewing and curtain making seem to have stuck.

But she also taught me that real strength is preserving though difficult times with dignity. That sometimes you just have to “get through” and to do that you just keep going. No mithering.

In part losing Nan makes me think and feel about losing Grandad and my Dad again. While she was alive, they were alive in her. Now it’s up to us to remember them all. 

I’m going to miss you Nan. I already am. We will all miss you. Thank you for being such a big part of our lives. I hope I can be as strong as you were and love you all through every adversity. 

God bless you Nan.